Reflecting on her eight decades, rancher Eva DePuy said, with a twinkle in her eye, Actually, I’m surprised to be around this long. She’s a spry woman and her Call of the Wild ranch, just south of Livingston, still boasts some of the best spring-fed trout streams in Montana. She wished us good luck, me and Tom Travis, and, getting back to her ranching, sent us off to a day’s fly fishing. Eva DePuy is a good wisher, and we landed some big ones. Only two days earlier, the fabled trout of the Yellowstone had not been so co-operative. Even Mr Travis, the region’s most gifted piscatorial consultant, was a bit flummoxed. The river’s big trout – a mix of rainbows, cutthroats and browns – were off the feed. Instead, we caught babies. In the considered opinion of Travis, the little ones were taking flies because the big fish were not. It was an unusual but not unheard of situation. Normally, in that season and place, the aggressive big trout will feed until their stomachs are full; the little fish have to settle for whatever is left over. There was a reason – or possibly several – for the reversal of fishing fortune.

Women’s shoes

The immediate weather might have had something to do with it, according to Travis; large trout don’t adjust well to changes in barometric pressure. But fishing conditions in Montana this year have been affected by a climate shift, too. July was unusually dark and rainy, delaying the life cycles of bugs on which the trout feed. Mount Pinatubo in the Philippines is said to be the culprit. Its eruption apparently spewed tons of ash (and, for all we know, thousands of pairs of women’s shoes) into the upper atmosphere. All this theorising – when we should have been landing impressive fish – had a terrible side effect: we realised that the Yellowstone was behaving like the computer business. The big fish, particularly IBM but also Digital, Amdahl and Hitachi, were off the feed. Little fish, from EMC to Gateway 2000, were eating all the lunch. How disconcerting! We were on holiday. We had temporarily escaped scenic Brooklyn, with its quaint sidewalk vendors offering used household items freshly burgled from our neighbours, and its up-to-the-minute teenagers, each equipped with a beeper and a Glock 9mm handgun (or slug compatible). But, regrettably, we weren’t able to forget about Big Blue while under the Big Sky. While floating on the river, we thought of IBM’s casting about for ways to halt the feeding frenzy of the computer industry’s fingerlings. The little fish have nibbled at its market share, reduced the scale of its profits and, most importantly, dampened customers’ faith in the IBM Company. Now, some of the fry are quickly growing into big fish – stronger, richer, smarter and more aggressive than the leviathan of the Hudson River. Thus, we were understandably delighted when our day of poor fishing on the river was followed by an excellent day at DePuy’s and several more in the headwaters of the Yellowstone.

By Hesh Wiener

We hardly thought about IBM at all until our return to Gotham… and a most unusual wedding. As IBM threatened its diminishing roster of employees with dismissal, persuading formerly complacent executives to work like dogs, a New York couple was planning a wedding in which dogs would work – and dress – like executives. The betrothed, partners in an extraordinary pet emporium, invited not only their friends but their friends’ pets. Some of the pets, dolled up in formal clothing, marched down the aisle with their masters. Others, just as neatly coiffed, sat with their owners throughout the ceremony. Catering included not only the traditional wedding victuals for people, but also kibble and cake for the canines. The dogs had their day. The whole affair would have been more peaceful had it not been for the presence of a television crew recording the colourful event for the late evening news. The bright lights, the bizarre machinery and a very lively reporter got the pooches all riled up. One large wedding guest that hailed from the Land of the Midnight Sun and the water of the Exx

on Valdez nearly enjoyed Yorkshire terrier pudding for dinner. A poodle with a better haircut (and a lot more hair) than ourselves pissed on the carpet. A boxer staged a rebellion. Eventually the media got its sound bites and bite sounds and the party resumed. Some of the dogs became bored and went to sleep; the guests wisely let them lie. But the image of dogs in tiny tuxedos and miniature party dresses, yipping and snarling as their owners thrust them into the halogen beams of the television crew, continued to haunt us. The dogs’ costumes stripped them of dignity, while our clothes had exactly the opposite effect. The thousands of IBMers losing their jobs are being deprived of the affirmations of the sartorial symbols of their dignity – the blue suits and blue collars – along with far more important things, such as their economic worth and their social positions. How that must hurt. The people discarded by IBM will eventually regain their self-esteem. Some will ultimately have better lives. But none will forget. Even the survivors within IBM, spared the shame of dismissal, are being thrust into new and unfamiliar roles. The stresses they must feel will not diminish anytime soon; they are strangers in a strange IBM. It will yet get worse. In the preface to his book Big Blues, which has just come off press, Wall Street Journal reporter Paul Carroll recounts a statement attributed to IBM director Dick Munro. In late 1992, Munro reportedly told a friend that IBM plans to use its financial muscle to maintain ‘a last-man standing’ strategy, to see how long competitors can hang on, in the hope that IBM will be the last survivor. In mainframes, where IBM is by far the strongest player by virtue of its control over system software, deep discounting and a moribund market have pushed Amdahl into the red.

Seem to be addled

Hitachi’s processor business, with an even smaller sales volume, is unlikely to be much better off. But that is just about the only industry segment where IBM might succeed by brute force. Generally speaking, it is too late for IBM to use brawn; whatever hope it has lies in its brains. And the brains seem to be addled. Most recently, we have read of IBM’s plan to knock out competitors in desktop computing by selling cheap personal computers, promoting its PowerPC 801 chip and also developing Intel-compatible microprocessors. The resultant price wars will wipe out some of IBM’s competitors. But as has become usual, IBM seems to have lost sight of one small detail: competitors don’t bring it money, customers do. By training its customers to expect ever cheaper commodity products, IBM will foreclose the last remaining opportunities to sell unique, superior products at respectable profit margins. The moment of truth is at hand. And Louis V Gerstner will be held responsible for IBM’s results, fair weather or foul: if his scheme works, he will go down in history as IBM’s Sun King. But he could just as easily be remembered as the leader whose message was: Avec moi le deluge.(C) 1993 Technology News of America